MORNINGSIDE HEIGHTS - After a grueling spring term, students are returning to campus revitalized and ready to subject their bodies to a semester of heavy drinking. Columbians reported feeling “burned out” and “stretched too thin” in May, but a summer to relax and recover has left them ready to buckle down this upcoming school year.
“We shouldn’t lose sight of what we’re really here for,” said Tom Sorkin CC ‘19. While mixing a beer into his jungle juice he added, “I think this year I need to focus on expanding my horizons and trying new things.”
IN OTHER NEWS
The study found that "no genitalia" also discouraged intercourse.
"Without a trigger warning, we have no way of knowing when a British journalist is about to have his guts spilled out onto the desert floor."
"Past tweets included personal attacks on Washington officials, celebrities, and random citizens from Indiana..."
"I’m sure this news will be met with disappointment."
“Taking flight using only the motion of your penis is really all about confidence."
Gorsuch is the first Fed alumnus to land a job interview.
"Like, although I wasn’t thrilled about it, I got Obamacare because the Cheesecake Factory doesn’t have dental insurance."
Gill has not showed that he is willing to stand up for justice.
Even Neville's toad.