RUGGLES HALL - Josh Goldsmith CC ‘18 shook his head as he peered down at the mysterious envelope he received in the mail. “I’m not entirely sure what this is, but I think it’s a Netflix bill,” said the future Goldman Sachs analyst, scrutinizing his account charges. “I can’t even tell how much they’re asking for.”
Goldsmith was confused when, checking his mailbox for the first time in five months, he found the small paper parcel emblazoned with a Netflix logo. “Why don’t they just send me this stuff online? Then I could just forward it to my parents,” Goldsmith complained. “I guess I could send this up to Westchester, too, except I’m not entirely sure how that works.”
When told that he could send the video streaming company a check enclosed in the return envelope, Goldsmith looked mystified. “I’ll just ask my roommate for his password."
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He’s also eyeing a presidential run.
“At current rates, we can expect it to reach the other side of the street no later than May 2018.”
"JACOB TREMBLAY, from the wonderful film ROOM, is now my son. Polls LOVE him already!"
You wear Goodwill; I wear Canada Goose.
"She came over this break and, I swear to God, was just ripping some of the fattest clouds I'd ever seen."
"What does it mean to be a police officer with thousands of devices installed in your body to assist in fighting crime when you also like dudes?"
"Jesus, no I don't have any comment on what happened in Florida. Can't you see I'm busy here?"
"Jeez, I bet I look pretty ridiculous right about now."