Spotting his waiter approaching with a steaming salmon fillet, local man Curtis Glauss, 31, frantically rearranged his table to accommodate the new dish.
“I was caught completely off guard,” Glauss recalled. “My unfinished jalapeno poppers were right in front of me, and when I tried to shove them towards the middle of the table, the bread basket got in the way. I had been playing with sugar packets and now they lay askew all over the right side of the table. There was no time to move them.”
Glauss identified the poppers as the primary occupier of space, and in a last ditch effort, placed them precariously atop the bread basket. His glass of Coke Zero was moved diagonally to the near left corner of the table, occupying the same zone as the salt and pepper, thus allowing for a one-and-a-half foot radius in which his salmon could be placed.
As of press time, the salmon had touched down safely on the table.
IN OTHER NEWS
"I could definitely perk up, but I don’t. Because I’m a misanthropic bitch."
This debate got pretty vicious.
We've got to get him out of there.
He's just as numb on the inside.
“The old all-you-can-learn system is entirely unsuited for the savvy modern student."
Revel in the holiday spirit!
“Dodge is like, what, a block away?"
“I can’t tell you how many times I have been traumatized by seeing meatloaf."
“What you have to realize is that ‘Beta brother’ is really just a social construct.”