In a brief calm amidst meetings, new emails, and coffee runs, budding businessman Robert Granders CC ‘18 sat down to talk about his meteoric rise within the ranks of the management consulting firm at which he is interning.
“It’s been a pretty crazy month,” Granders said nonchalantly. “At first, it was really tough getting situated in such a storied company, but I kept on reminding myself that if I could get an A in Principles of Economics, I could make it anywhere. Now, considering how far I’ve come, it’s tough to believe that I was ever worried.”
Discounting coffee stains, the rising junior had already left an indelible mark upon the office. He had gained the appreciation of the staff from whom he learned so much.
“Yeah, he’s been fine,” said Chris Richards, the entry-level analyst charged with supervising the future magnate. “He barely makes mistakes when doing data entry, and responds to emails quickly enough. Not sure he has the time to take interviews though, we’ve got some major projects in the pipeline for this week.”
When asked about said projects, Granders gestured towards the other interns with whom he shared a table, all of whom were hunched over their computers typing manically. “My real skills lie in delegation—one of the many reasons why I’m on the management track. Even though I’m not personally writing my ‘assigned reports,’ my name is all over this thing.”
Indeed, the shared document that his fellow interns were collaborating on was covered in comments Robert had written, most of which consisted of “good work” or “needs work”.
IN OTHER NEWS
“At current rates, we can expect it to reach the other side of the street no later than May 2018.”
"JACOB TREMBLAY, from the wonderful film ROOM, is now my son. Polls LOVE him already!"
You wear Goodwill; I wear Canada Goose.
"She came over this break and, I swear to God, was just ripping some of the fattest clouds I'd ever seen."
"What does it mean to be a police officer with thousands of devices installed in your body to assist in fighting crime when you also like dudes?"
"Jesus, no I don't have any comment on what happened in Florida. Can't you see I'm busy here?"
"Jeez, I bet I look pretty ridiculous right about now."
"Many believe that Michael Phelps would have brought home even more hardware had he not been injured in an attack orchestrated by Tonya Harding’s ex-husband Jeff Gillooly."