Fear rippled through the Columbia community last week after James McShane reported in an email that a student had been robbed of his laptop after leaving it Butler for 9 days.
Daniel Crowder, CC ‘19, says he left the laptop on a table in Butler 209 when he went to the bathroom. And when he returned, a mere 215 hours later, the laptop was gone.
“I usually ask the nearest girl to watch my stuff. But since I knew I wasn’t going to be gone for long, I decided just to leave it unattended.”
Police are on the case, but have yet determined whether the laptop, along with Mr. Crowder’s Calculus I problem sets and Lit Hum notebook, were stolen or were just thrown out.
Other students expressed shock at the state of affairs in the library.
“Is nothing sacred?” said Jesse Han, SEAS ‘19. “If we can’t leave piles of schoolwork in Butler for weeks on end, then what even is the point of the library?
IN OTHER NEWS
"Without a trigger warning, we have no way of knowing when a British journalist is about to have his guts spilled out onto the desert floor."
"Past tweets included personal attacks on Washington officials, celebrities, and random citizens from Indiana..."
"I’m sure this news will be met with disappointment."
“Taking flight using only the motion of your penis is really all about confidence."
Gorsuch is the first Fed alumnus to land a job interview.
"Like, although I wasn’t thrilled about it, I got Obamacare because the Cheesecake Factory doesn’t have dental insurance."
Gill has not showed that he is willing to stand up for justice.
Even Neville's toad.
Captives have been forced to declare their devotion to a handy tooth hygiene guide.