HAMILTON - Sociology TA Eleanor Gimble, a 5th year grad student, reportedly waited patiently for Jared “that kid” Rodriguez CC' 19, to answer a simple question regarding the shortest reading assigned to the class that week. Rodriguez, according to reports from classmates, played with the notion of letting the other students take a crack at the answer before just handling it himself.
"Thank god for Jared," said Gimble commenting on the nature of the class. "He's the only one of these kids that doesn't realize how pointless this all is. Most of them have figured out that this part of their grade is pass/fail at best. Besides, most of them probably don't even know what I look like. Christ, when I asked that question I even flirted with the idea of looking around the room, but I think who am I kidding. If he wants it that bad, let him have it."
Classmate Olivia Wilkins, BC '20, said, "If it weren't for him we'd have to accept that, even at a top-level school, the students aren't motivated to do much more than stare at their feet during class. Did I mention that this is my major?"
Speaking to reporters, Rodriguez said: "Basically, I do the readings to stand out in the 300-hundred person lecture, you know? The other day, Dr. Walinski [the lecturer] glanced right at me when he said the word 'inequality' and I just felt reincarnated. He's really an inspiration to me."
In response, Gimble rolled her eyes. "Walinski hasn’t even done the readings. The other TA's and I have made every powerpoint for this class, and he doesn't even pronounce a lot of the key terms correctly."
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At press time, a similar ceremony is being planned for the namesake of Uris Deli; the infamous New York railroad tycoon, Uris J. Deli.