HAMILTON HALL - In an unprecedented show of defiance, Erica Stoneberg CC ‘19 announced to anyone who would listen that she was switching Contemporary Civilization sections during registration this week.
Stoneberg cited various reasons for her big decision. “I felt that my current professor doesn’t allow his students the intellectual freedom that many others do. In fact, he only calls on me around four times each class and cuts me off after about two to seven minutes of speaking.” Stoneberg also stated that she felt her grade was too low on the midterm, only having received a 98 on the essay portion.
“I’m excited for my new professor,” continued Stoneberg. “I read on CULPA that he only gives A’s and A+’s, which is exactly the learning environment I’m looking for.”
IN OTHER NEWS
“If this is what it takes to mend the racial scars of American society, it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make,” said Greenwood.
“Exposing Westchester’s kids to this kind of disease is nothing short of morally repugnant,” said local activist group FreeEdu. “If you want to do justice to teaching America’s colonial past, you should be giving them smallpox instead.”
He’s also eyeing a presidential run.
“At current rates, we can expect it to reach the other side of the street no later than May 2018.”
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