SIGMA PHI EPSILON - A late-night interaction on the Free & For Sale marketplace group ended in tragedy, as Nicholas Campbell CC ‘18 expressed interest in an item listed by Sarah Dawkins BC ‘20. Campbell commented“messaged” on a’ for-sale post, but ultimately neglected to contact the seller.
“It just seems pretty rude and I’m a little hurt,” said Dawkins. “I figured his comment meant that he wanted the item, or at least that we’d discuss it.”
Dawkins proceeded to question whether Campbell had any intention of initiating correspondence. “Maybe it was an empty promise all along,” she speculated.
At press time, Campbell showed little remorse over his role in the misunderstanding, and had already begun browsing other listings in Free & For Sale.
IN OTHER NEWS
“I’ve done a lot of research and all the movies show that fat shaming is the most effective way to make those little bastards lose a few pounds.”
"If only Trump and Muslim refugees could sit down at the negotiating table and enjoy a bowl of Pizza Twist Macaroni..."
"I didn’t choose to want to fuck Paul Ryan. It’s just the way I am."
"Governor Reuben won a landslide victory to become the state’s first Toasted-American governor."
The study found that "no genitalia" also discouraged intercourse.
"Without a trigger warning, we have no way of knowing when a British journalist is about to have his guts spilled out onto the desert floor."
"Past tweets included personal attacks on Washington officials, celebrities, and random citizens from Indiana..."
"I’m sure this news will be met with disappointment."