NORTH POLE SLEIGHPORT - After Arctic Sleighlines announced that it would begin charging for personal items, Santa was forced to rethink his Christmas travel strategy. "I wouldn't even mind just paying more for my round trip on Christmas Eve," he said. "I just hate being nickel-and-dimed."
To avoid paying exorbitant fees for carrying on gifts he would otherwise tote, Santa will consolidate his packing for the Christmas Eve trip. "I'll be slinging a small sack over my back, which will have everything I'll need for the holiday," Santa said in between bites of a sleighport Cinnabon. "I forgot a few things when hastily throwing everything in my sack, so I might have to ask a five year old to leave a toothbrush out for me. And with the sleighline charging for meals, it would be nice if children could leave me something a little more substantive than cookies. I could go for some Pad Thai -- after a long night of chimney climbing, a Chipotle burrito bowl would hit the spot, too."
As of press time, Santa was considering getting bumped to a Christmas day flight to earn free miles for next year's global trip.