Learn from Columbia's wisest degenerates.
"We're just asking you to divert your $60,000 per year towards rent."
"It seems like just yesterday I was telling all of my 424 LinkedIn connections that I had gotten a job at Morgan Stanley."
Welcome to SUNY MoHi.
GOOGLE IT! The Jews control JSwipe.
"Malia is going to lean in if it's the last thing she ever does."
The decision was mourned by prefrosh looking forward to getting drenched in Bud Light and other students' sweat.
Get through finals with most of your limbs intact by following our advice.
"After enduring a six month family road trip, you can imagine how much we all hate each other."
The Odyssey Online is likely also a massive farce.
Columbia is using eminent domain to confiscate Ted Cruz's future real estate.
"Keep chanting, suckers. Me, my pet tiger, and my new Hummer are just going to ride out the storm."
To celebrate, the President let Malia pick any drone target she wanted.