Man-made pollutants, like Ray-Bans and Keystone Light, caused the species to mutate into even more hideous pastel shades.
Without them, on whom would you blame your Harvard rejection?
It was a fitting end to the conflict, which has claimed over three fraternities and a pair of bacchanals.
"We can't worry about whether spinach or kale has more protein. We don't need that kind of stress."
He was even able to rewrite his C.V. at the militant group’s Centre for Career Education, which was significantly more helpful than Columbia's.
Winter won't be the only thing coming.
"This almost reminds me of my youth, when I was the Zodia - zamboni driver, yeah, zamboni driver.”
"I don't get why they get to hog all the good sit-in spots. They didn't even book the space on UEM."
He's also excited for the flood of accessible research opportunities and reduced-price Broadway tickets.
Public Safety must have warned President Bollinger beforehand, as he had a towel under his door all day.
The comment is predicted to provoke a 7-day media firestorm and have little to no impact on the presidential race.
Men will soon be tossed in the trash bin of history.
We owe a huge thank you to all of our dedicated readers.
“We couldn’t ethically study and practice pagan rituals here at night while the lighting is powered by natural gas and fossil fuel.”
Theta House is not taking full advantage of its keg space.
Study the supply and demand for FIFA bribes.
A member of the prestigious publication drank at least six fluid ounces of alcohol this weekend.
Columbia Facilities is slashing the building’s heavy air conditioning consumption in an effort to drive out the protesters.
Columbia is clearly the best Ivy. The Office of Campus Affairs has unveiled a revamped series of themed events aimed at increasing inclusivity.
Are you a prospective student? Columbia student? College Confidential parent? Learn why Columbia is clearly the best Ivy.
Adderall, oxycodone recall - please deliver drugs to John Jay 413.
At least it will make for a great application essay one day.
"I'm just grateful that my application to stay here was approved."
The President referred to James McShane as a "serial fun killer."
"I’m really going to miss this community of irrational hostility and anger when we all graduate in a few months."
The ritualistic bloodletting is designed to appease the god of agriculture, Freyr, as well as the Lacoste promotions department.
Want to go abroad for the summer?
"All those names - Homer, Herodotus. Do those guys really sell condos here?"
The concert is in the evening, right? You bring your problem sets, right?
The filtered selfie on Foner’s Instagram, @TooHotForTenure, received a paltry 36 likes.
Victory was declared before voting even began.
It lacked both penis size comparisons and booger ingestion.
The First Daughter is coming to Morningside Heights.
They need something to fill their empty schedule.
"Maybe we'll even use an ear tag or something."