“I can’t tell you how many times I have been traumatized by seeing meatloaf."
“What you have to realize is that ‘Beta brother’ is really just a social construct.”
She euphorically closed all twelve Courseworks tabs on her computer and logged into Netflix.
"To deliver the application form, we had to climb into this dark pit and sacrifice one of our members on financial aid."
She insisted she was "learning how to learn."
"This is exactly the kind of back-of-the-envelope calculation we want our students to employ.”
The administration has finally given in to the rat's demands.
All five Green Party members attended.
“We’ll settle for someone else’s first-born child, if an issue arises. We’re not picky.”
"I don't want to be schvitzing about my 401k come April 15th."
It's all out of love for his family.
"I finally feel comfortable enough to spread my wings and be the racial extremist I’ve always known I could be.”
We have reprinted Bollinger's most notable emails.
He even made his roommate take down the Budweiser posters, but that was for aesthetic reasons.
“In a way, Lincoln Center is like a tree, and I will drive it into the ground.”
"With this new policy, we will be able to better cultivate an external image of respect.”
"Can you believe it? It’s like I just snuck onto the team through the back door."
He played with the notion of letting the other students take a crack at the answer.
His mother waved to us from the cockpit.
They are 100% effective.
Her professor also cuts her off after only two to seven minutes of speaking.
The Trump administration was impressed by their writing samples.
Residents fondly recall using the elevator to gain privacy for an hour or two as it traveled between floors.
"Revealing my thoughts is in the best interest of not only myself, but also my legions of female admirers."
Do not make the mistake of assuming size is a barrier to love.
“How many bros do we have to lose before the administration takes action?”
A look back at CAVA's historical evolution.
“I thought we were just warming up when the professor asked us how science made us feel.”
It comes with one blue crayon.
"Children have more opinions than we often give them credit for, especially when the topic is Columbia Wrestling."
In 15 minutes, you could save 15% or more on nard insurance.
"Did these rural whites only read the Sparknotes?"
We shouldn't have been so confident that working class America was listening to Spec.
The victims looked “drop dead gorgeous.”
They better be on my desk today.
Unconfirmed reports suggest the metal will be used to build a new back door to the university.
When he returned from the bathroom, a meer 215 hours later, the laptop was gone.
The newly-discovered species of hominid is being named Homo sapyns.
“How else am I supposed to bond with my sorority sisters?”
“I only read the Sparknotes, but even I was able to deliver a vehement diatribe against his unfair treatment of women."
"The monster bellowed, 'HOLY GUACAMOLE, THIS IS OFF THE HOOK,' bits spattering out of its gaping jaws."