"The health inspector finds fecal bacteria on your counter once and your future is tanked.”
"We want to ensure that all students feel welcome, regardless of which part of speech they feel the strongest connection to."
He didn't even manage to grab any free swag.
Unexpected growth in the party's size led to logistical complications.
Next time, she'll do the right thing and hand over her ID to the security desk.
The operation eased his endorsement of Donald Trump.
You might be asking yourself, "How long do I have to touch a boob to be a feminist?"
Would you take a handful?
Emma Berusch's CCSC campaign initially claimed that she "overheated" at the Delta Sig mixer.
"It's rare to find a candidate so clearly qualified for the program."
"She is an emblem of the American Dream for the billions of non-biodegradables who come to this country every year."
"It's just that...I'm pretty average."
"Why don't they just send me this stuff online? Then I could forward it to my parents."
"They should have at least stretched the thing out until primetime."
She barely had time to remind her Lit Hum classmate that he is an "entitled sexist" before slipping out of consciousness.
His jalapeño poppers had to be shoved precariously past the bread basket.
"Lee Bollinger has blood all over his hands."
"If you look back, pounding some brewskis has a pretty consistent record of public service."
A convening of the bros on Columbia's campus has concluded that you can't just walk in here with dat a$$ and not throw them a trigger warning first.
A heart-wrenching account of one student's personal journey this summer.
Students are ready to buckle down this school year.