December 2015

Featured
BREAKING: Finals Dawn On Columbia
On Campus December 2015, PrezBo, finals tip, Fed Seth Farkas
On Campus December 2015, PrezBo, finals tip, Fed Seth Farkas
BREAKING: Finals Dawn On Columbia
On Campus December 2015, PrezBo, finals tip, Fed Seth Farkas
On Campus December 2015, PrezBo, finals tip, Fed Seth Farkas

Good luck on finals.

On Campus December 2015, PrezBo, finals tip, Fed Seth Farkas
On Campus December 2015, PrezBo, finals tip, Fed Seth Farkas
Santa To Give Only One Present After Sleighline Charges Him For Carry-Ons
World December 2015, Fed Max Rosenberg
World December 2015, Fed Max Rosenberg
Santa To Give Only One Present After Sleighline Charges Him For Carry-Ons
World December 2015, Fed Max Rosenberg
World December 2015, Fed Max Rosenberg

He also forgot his toothbrush, so make sure to tell your children to leave him one.

World December 2015, Fed Max Rosenberg
World December 2015, Fed Max Rosenberg
Hefty Christmas Shopping Puts Santa In Crippling Credit Card Debt
World December 2015, Fed Iqraz Nanji and Max Rosenberg
World December 2015, Fed Iqraz Nanji and Max Rosenberg
Hefty Christmas Shopping Puts Santa In Crippling Credit Card Debt
World December 2015, Fed Iqraz Nanji and Max Rosenberg
World December 2015, Fed Iqraz Nanji and Max Rosenberg

Due to budget cuts, management will have to outsource his workshop to China.

World December 2015, Fed Iqraz Nanji and Max Rosenberg
World December 2015, Fed Iqraz Nanji and Max Rosenberg
Contract Negotiation Protests Make Elf Union Delay Christmas
World December 2015, Fed Iqraz Nanji
World December 2015, Fed Iqraz Nanji
Contract Negotiation Protests Make Elf Union Delay Christmas
World December 2015, Fed Iqraz Nanji
World December 2015, Fed Iqraz Nanji

End the war on socially just Christmas!

World December 2015, Fed Iqraz Nanji
World December 2015, Fed Iqraz Nanji
Angry Barnard Students Burn Down Frat Row
On Campus December 2015, Fed Kashaf Doha
On Campus December 2015, Fed Kashaf Doha
Angry Barnard Students Burn Down Frat Row
On Campus December 2015, Fed Kashaf Doha
On Campus December 2015, Fed Kashaf Doha

"I deplore violence in all forms - except cathartic, patriarchy-consuming flames."

On Campus December 2015, Fed Kashaf Doha
On Campus December 2015, Fed Kashaf Doha
Trump Tells Santa to Put Muslims on Naughty List
World December 2015, Fed Thomas Germain
World December 2015, Fed Thomas Germain
Trump Tells Santa to Put Muslims on Naughty List
World December 2015, Fed Thomas Germain
World December 2015, Fed Thomas Germain

He's urging Santa to check his database twice.

World December 2015, Fed Thomas Germain
World December 2015, Fed Thomas Germain
Home For Break, Barnard Student Realizes She Has Surpassed Family In Intelligence, Pretentiousness
On Campus December 2015, Fed Ainsley Bandrowski
On Campus December 2015, Fed Ainsley Bandrowski
Home For Break, Barnard Student Realizes She Has Surpassed Family In Intelligence, Pretentiousness
On Campus December 2015, Fed Ainsley Bandrowski
On Campus December 2015, Fed Ainsley Bandrowski

"They don't even know what non-corporatized coffee tastes like at home!"

On Campus December 2015, Fed Ainsley Bandrowski
On Campus December 2015, Fed Ainsley Bandrowski
Facebook User Still Bitter About Redesign of 2008
World December 2015, Fed Adam Kelly-Penso
World December 2015, Fed Adam Kelly-Penso
Facebook User Still Bitter About Redesign of 2008
World December 2015, Fed Adam Kelly-Penso
World December 2015, Fed Adam Kelly-Penso

"A little part of me died along with my wall."

World December 2015, Fed Adam Kelly-Penso
World December 2015, Fed Adam Kelly-Penso
Martin O'Malley Remembers Martin O'Malley Is Running For President During Debate
World December 2015, Fed Max Rosenberg
World December 2015, Fed Max Rosenberg
Martin O'Malley Remembers Martin O'Malley Is Running For President During Debate
World December 2015, Fed Max Rosenberg
World December 2015, Fed Max Rosenberg

He was still making up his mind between Hillary and Bernie while tuning into Saturday's debate from his podium.

World December 2015, Fed Max Rosenberg
World December 2015, Fed Max Rosenberg
A Declaration of the Immediate Causes that Induce and Justify Graduate Student Confederation
On Campus December 2015, Fed, PrezBo Iqraz Nanji
On Campus December 2015, Fed, PrezBo Iqraz Nanji
A Declaration of the Immediate Causes that Induce and Justify Graduate Student Confederation
On Campus December 2015, Fed, PrezBo Iqraz Nanji
On Campus December 2015, Fed, PrezBo Iqraz Nanji

By General Lee Bollinger

On Campus December 2015, Fed, PrezBo Iqraz Nanji
On Campus December 2015, Fed, PrezBo Iqraz Nanji
Tulane University Expanded To Fourlane University Due To Congestion Concerns
World December 2015, Fed Adam Kelly-Penso
World December 2015, Fed Adam Kelly-Penso
Tulane University Expanded To Fourlane University Due To Congestion Concerns
World December 2015, Fed Adam Kelly-Penso
World December 2015, Fed Adam Kelly-Penso

Once construction begins, Tulane will change its mascot from a pelican to a crane.

World December 2015, Fed Adam Kelly-Penso
World December 2015, Fed Adam Kelly-Penso
Michelangelo’s David Claims He's A "Grower, Not A Shower"
World December 2015, Fed Shawma Chun
World December 2015, Fed Shawma Chun
Michelangelo’s David Claims He's A "Grower, Not A Shower"
World December 2015, Fed Shawma Chun
World December 2015, Fed Shawma Chun

"There weren't exactly water heaters back then."

 

World December 2015, Fed Shawma Chun
World December 2015, Fed Shawma Chun
Ted Cruz Sprains Back After Taking Huge Leap In Iowa Polls
World Fed, December 2015 Iqraz Nanji
World Fed, December 2015 Iqraz Nanji
Ted Cruz Sprains Back After Taking Huge Leap In Iowa Polls
World Fed, December 2015 Iqraz Nanji
World Fed, December 2015 Iqraz Nanji

At least we know Ted Cruz has a spine, after all.

World Fed, December 2015 Iqraz Nanji
World Fed, December 2015 Iqraz Nanji
Columbia Is Too Hard For A Baby
On Campus Fed, December 2015 John P. Baby and Thomas Germain
On Campus Fed, December 2015 John P. Baby and Thomas Germain
Columbia Is Too Hard For A Baby
On Campus Fed, December 2015 John P. Baby and Thomas Germain
On Campus Fed, December 2015 John P. Baby and Thomas Germain

I don't think I have to tell you that making it through midterms with diaper rash is hell on Earth.

On Campus Fed, December 2015 John P. Baby and Thomas Germain
On Campus Fed, December 2015 John P. Baby and Thomas Germain
Activist Urologist Says, "Check Your Privilege, Also Your Nuts"
World December 2015, Fed Adam Kelly-Penso
World December 2015, Fed Adam Kelly-Penso
Activist Urologist Says, "Check Your Privilege, Also Your Nuts"
World December 2015, Fed Adam Kelly-Penso
World December 2015, Fed Adam Kelly-Penso

One doctor is staging a ballsy protest against the patriarchy.

World December 2015, Fed Adam Kelly-Penso
World December 2015, Fed Adam Kelly-Penso
Columbia Displays CC Instructor Race On Course Directory
On Campus Fed, December 2015 F.T. Shaker
On Campus Fed, December 2015 F.T. Shaker
Columbia Displays CC Instructor Race On Course Directory
On Campus Fed, December 2015 F.T. Shaker
On Campus Fed, December 2015 F.T. Shaker

Taking CC with a non-white professor also counts towards your Global Core requirement.

On Campus Fed, December 2015 F.T. Shaker
On Campus Fed, December 2015 F.T. Shaker
Fed Editor-In-Chief Goes Missing From Her Home In JJs
On Campus Fed, December 2015 Seth Farkas and Hailey Riechelson
On Campus Fed, December 2015 Seth Farkas and Hailey Riechelson
Fed Editor-In-Chief Goes Missing From Her Home In JJs
On Campus Fed, December 2015 Seth Farkas and Hailey Riechelson
On Campus Fed, December 2015 Seth Farkas and Hailey Riechelson

Please be vigilant for this unfortunately well-nourished junior.

On Campus Fed, December 2015 Seth Farkas and Hailey Riechelson
On Campus Fed, December 2015 Seth Farkas and Hailey Riechelson
Columbia Adopts Common Core
On Campus Fed, December 2015 Kashaf Doha
On Campus Fed, December 2015 Kashaf Doha
Columbia Adopts Common Core
On Campus Fed, December 2015 Kashaf Doha
On Campus Fed, December 2015 Kashaf Doha

It will replace No Athlete Left Behind.

On Campus Fed, December 2015 Kashaf Doha
On Campus Fed, December 2015 Kashaf Doha
Track Team Plagued By Race Issues
On Campus Fed, December 2015 Iqraz Nanji
On Campus Fed, December 2015 Iqraz Nanji
Track Team Plagued By Race Issues
On Campus Fed, December 2015 Iqraz Nanji
On Campus Fed, December 2015 Iqraz Nanji

They're actually ranked by their race!

On Campus Fed, December 2015 Iqraz Nanji
On Campus Fed, December 2015 Iqraz Nanji
International Briefing: Middle Eastern Public Radio Launches Kuwait Kuwait Don't Tell Me
World Fed, December 2015 Adam Kelly-Penso
World Fed, December 2015 Adam Kelly-Penso
International Briefing: Middle Eastern Public Radio Launches Kuwait Kuwait Don't Tell Me
World Fed, December 2015 Adam Kelly-Penso
World Fed, December 2015 Adam Kelly-Penso

The program is scheduled to follow Qatar Talk.

World Fed, December 2015 Adam Kelly-Penso
World Fed, December 2015 Adam Kelly-Penso
Conquistadors Recolonize Columbia's Discourse
On Campus Fed, December 2015, PrezBo Montezuma, King of the Aztecs, Business School '18
On Campus Fed, December 2015, PrezBo Montezuma, King of the Aztecs, Business School '18
Conquistadors Recolonize Columbia's Discourse
On Campus Fed, December 2015, PrezBo Montezuma, King of the Aztecs, Business School '18
On Campus Fed, December 2015, PrezBo Montezuma, King of the Aztecs, Business School '18

Hernan Cortes dissolved all social justice on Wednesday in a flawless Westchester accent.

On Campus Fed, December 2015, PrezBo Montezuma, King of the Aztecs, Business School '18
On Campus Fed, December 2015, PrezBo Montezuma, King of the Aztecs, Business School '18
A Letter From the New Night Manager of M2M
On Campus December 2015, Fed Ben Greenspan
On Campus December 2015, Fed Ben Greenspan
A Letter From the New Night Manager of M2M
On Campus December 2015, Fed Ben Greenspan
On Campus December 2015, Fed Ben Greenspan

I'm scared, I'm lonely, and if I have to tell someone that I don't know where the dried seaweed is one more time, I think I'm going to lose my mind.

On Campus December 2015, Fed Ben Greenspan
On Campus December 2015, Fed Ben Greenspan