HOT OFF THE PRESS
"It is not just a pathetic excuse for a meal; it is an affront to the values upheld by our well-nourished Founding Fathers."
"I don’t pay nearly $70,000 a year to go more than a week without being offended."
"Like, although I wasn’t thrilled about it, I got Obamacare because the Cheesecake Factory doesn’t have dental insurance."
"I've never met more flabby human beings, except for every other semester I've taught here."
"The post-war resurgence of female domesticity? That’s my aesthetic. And, oh my god, Republican Motherhood? Now that’s a deep cut."
"I was ordered to teach a class of 18-year-old little shits some easy beach reads, like the Iliad and To the Fucking Lighthouse."
Gill has not showed that he is willing to stand up for justice.
Even Neville's toad.
Captives have been forced to declare their devotion to a handy tooth hygiene guide.
"My views are evolving to reflect the changing needs and perspectives of my diverse constituents," the Lord writes in a heartfelt op-ed.
LATEST ON THE FEED
The study found that "no genitalia" also discouraged intercourse.
“If Mother Teresa can be a saint, so can this sandwich."
Activism by any means possible.
"If anything, data suggests that these little fuckers are actually getting dumber with every passing year.”
"Sorry to disappoint, Mom, but I’m not just some fucking sell-out conformist like you!"
"Remember the fallen comrades in classes with an undergraduate-determined curve."
Moving one’s bowels is like real estate—it’s all about location, location, location!
"Without a trigger warning, we have no way of knowing when a British journalist is about to have his guts spilled out onto the desert floor."
"There are still some holdouts who experience brief moments of fleeting happiness."
"The New Yorker spells out for me exactly how I should behave and what I should desire."
"Past tweets included personal attacks on Washington officials, celebrities, and random citizens from Indiana..."
"I’m sure this news will be met with disappointment."
“Taking flight using only the motion of your penis is really all about confidence."
"Fitness freaks won’t ever have the determination needed to sustain my BMI."
Look! It's a cloud of buzz words!
Gorsuch is the first Fed alumnus to land a job interview.