HOT OFF THE PRESS
She insisted she was "learning how to learn."
"This is exactly the kind of back-of-the-envelope calculation we want our students to employ.”
The administration has finally given in to the rat's demands.
All five Green Party members attended.
“We’ll settle for someone else’s first-born child, if an issue arises. We’re not picky.”
"I don't want to be schvitzing about my 401k come April 15th."
It's all out of love for his family.
"I finally feel comfortable enough to spread my wings and be the racial extremist I’ve always known I could be.”
We have reprinted Bollinger's most notable emails.
LATEST ON THE FEED
"It’s more of a gut feeling, or an art --though knowing their SAT scores never hurts.”
"You haven’t touched me in weeks. What happened to us?"
It’s dark in there, Mikey.
"I could definitely perk up, but I don’t. Because I’m a misanthropic bitch."
This debate got pretty vicious.
We've got to get him out of there.
He's just as numb on the inside.
“The old all-you-can-learn system is entirely unsuited for the savvy modern student."
Revel in the holiday spirit!
“Dodge is like, what, a block away?"
“I can’t tell you how many times I have been traumatized by seeing meatloaf."
“What you have to realize is that ‘Beta brother’ is really just a social construct.”
She euphorically closed all twelve Courseworks tabs on her computer and logged into Netflix.
"To deliver the application form, we had to climb into this dark pit and sacrifice one of our members on financial aid."